Aye Khuda...

For a friend and follower on twitter 'Lidia Damer' @sunnysmi

Finally i could translate the lyrics. I know this has been pending for long. Now that you understand the lyrics and emotion of this song... i really hope you will enjoy this more... Happy listening/reading Lidia :)

Kaisi khala yeh dil mein basi hai

Ab toh khataayein fitrat hi si hai

Mein hi hoon woh jo rehmat se gira

Aye khuda, gir gaya, gir gaya

What is this empty space in my heart

To commit mistakes has now become my nature

I am the one who fell from the mercy

Oh! God, I fell, I fell

Mein jo tujhse door hua

Lutt gaya, lutt gaya

Aye khuda, gir gaya, gir gaya

Mein jo tujhse door hua

Lutt gaya, lutt gaya

Ever since I parted from you

I have lost everything, Lost everything

Oh! God, I fell, I fell

Ever since I parted from you

I have lost everything, Lost everything

Kaisi khala yeh dil mein basi hai

Ab toh khataayein firat hi si hai

Mein hi hoon woh jo rehmat se gira

Aye khuda, gir gaya, gir gaya

Mein jo tujhse door hua

Lutt gaya, lutt gaya

Aye khuda, aye khuda ..

Itni khataayein tu le kar chala hai

Daulat hi jaise tera ab khuda

Har pal bitaaye tu jaise hawa hai

Gunah ke saaye mein chalta raha

Samandar sa beh kar tu chalta hi gaya

Teri marzi poori ki, tuney haan har dafaa

Tu hi tera mujrim bandeya

You are walking with the burden of so many mistakes

Seems like wealth is your only God

You spend every moment like wind

You keep walking under the shadow of sins

Like an ocean you were always in motion

You did what pleased you, everytime

You are guilty to your own self

Aye khuda, gir gaya, gir gaya

Mein jo tujhse door hua

Lutt gaya, lutt gaya

Kyun judta iss jahaan se tu

ek din yeh guzar hi jaayega

Kitna bhi samet le yahaan

Mutti se pisal hi jaayega

Why are you so attached to this world

One day all this will pass away

No matter how much you accrue

All this will slip away from your hand

Har shaksh hai dhool se bana

Aur phir uss mein hi ja mila

Yeh haqeeqat hai tu jaan le

Kyun sacch se mooh hai pherta

Every being is made of dust

And then finally becomes dust

This is the inevitable truth, you must realize

Why do you turn away from this truth/reality?

Chaahe jo bhi hasrat poori kar le

Rukeygi na fitrat yeh samajh le

Mitt jaayegi teri hassti

Barr na paayega yeh dil bandeya

Fullfill any desire of yours

Realize that the nature will never stop for you

You and your existence will be erased

You will never be able to fill/satisfy your heart

Aye khuda, gir gaya, gir gaya

Mein jo tujhse door hua

Lutt gaya, lutt gaya

Agar tu soche tu hai gira

Mere haath ko thaam utt zara

Tere dil ke dar pe hoon khada

Mujhko apna le tu zara

If you think you have fallen

Grab my hand and rise

I am standing at your hearts’ gate

Make me yours

Tu kahe tu hai saaye se girah

Teri raahon ka mein noor hoon

Tere gunah ko khud pe le liya

Meri nazaron mein bekasoor tu

You say you are surrounded by darkness

I am the light of your path

I take your sins upon myself

In my view you are innocent

Aisa koi manzar tu dikhla de

Mujhe koi shaksh se milwa de

Aise koi dil se tu sunwa de

Ke zakhm koi usse na milaa

Show me such a sight

Make me meet such a person

Let me hear to such a heart

Which has never been hurt/wounded 

Aye khuda, gir gaya, gir gaya

Main jo tujhse door hua

Lutt gaya, lutt gaya

A Victim

I've been a victim

a parasite, a paranoid

so aggressive, so progressive

Dunno what this means

a distraction, a destruction

so consuming, so depressive

Where am i going

a new place, a new phase

so unknown, so unfair

I've been a victim

a secret, a regret

unspeakable, irreversible

I've been a new-child

a baby, a grown up

so charming, so streamy

I've been a victim

so innocent, so unwilling

a new breed, a failure

I've been an innocent

a lazy, a crazy

so abiding, so residing

I've been a victim, a victim

a victim of a fantasy.

Sita Vs Rama

written by Me & Kamal Krishna
images source: www.sitasingstheblues.com

Ram & Sita 

The most ideal couple ever.

Is that possible if they lived in this era?

Lets check.

*Note: please don’t go judgmental and sentimental over the fact that am using the characters of the ‘Holy’ Ramayana for this skit. If you don’t get the point… just get married. (I mean go to hell!)

As a matter of fact Ram & Sita approved this, and you may go check with them if in doubt! 

"Learning from his father's mistakes.. Ram married one Woman.

and.. witnessing Ram's mistakes.. Hanuman remained a Bachelor!!!"

lets see why....

Ram is in a party with his friends.. lakshmana, sugriva, vibheeshana and hanuman along with all the vanaras were in there. They were all drunk till their throats and were having a ball. It’s a typical guys party with lots of monkeying and embarrassing (fun) moments.

That’s how guys go wild and that’s what a party is!

Suddenly ram gets a 'Missed Call' on his mobile.

He is sobered back to two pegs.. because he knows what a single ring means.

He quietly looks at the screen and puts it aside.

Now that’s a no ordinary missed call.. its an intentional single ring. That single ring actually means “Enough fun for the day, come back home. Or else u know the consequences”.

Hanuman couldn't control his laughter at Ram's Miserabliity.. 

with a smirk says

"...so guys recent research reveals that using mobile phone is unhealthy, not because of radiation but because of the Dictation of Regulation and permission by the Woman! "  

Everyone burst into laughter.. not for the joke alone but for Ram's situation.

Rama has no choice but to rush back home. Since he is THE husband.

He has to leave. It doesn’t matter what his friends think of him, whether its a Party Etiquette or not… even if they r gonna call him henpecked!

He needs to go back home. DOT

Back at home. Sita is really mad and she doesn’t look like she’s gonna make any conversation. It even doesn’t look like she is the one who called him back home.

Now Ram has two choices.

1. Silently with a guilt face he can go and sleep.  

2. Silently with a puppy face go to sita and fix things.

He can’t opt 1. Because that may lead to bigger disasters. So to make it simple (that’s what he hopes) he resorts to option 2.

Sita: How come u are back so early? are you done partying with ur monkey friends?

Ram: thinks In his mind “but its actually you who called me back, else the plan was to party till 5am.” But wont dare to say that. Instead he says “c’mon hun its just a small get-together we were having, and its not really late its just 11pm.”

Sita: ya right, its always those drunkards who come first. U must have forgotten that u have a wife at home and she is waiting for you.

Ram: no babe its not like that, they are my friends and they are part of my life too… u know its not everyday that we party.

Sita: ya right! u wud drink everyday if u were allowed.

(Allowed? No one knows when such authority was given to her to dictate the ‘lord’ rama. What actually was given to her is the “respect”. Which is not recognized and instead being misused.)

Ram; hun, its not about drinking. It’s actually about having fun with friends involving alcohol. Its socializing.

(Now sita can never understand that difference. Because she is not a guy and she can never know how fun that could be.)

Sita: Socializing? U are having enough of that on facebook and twitter already.

(And then follows the “brahma astra”.  Yes along with the authority sita has seized the astra’s too. )

“You go to work in the morning and come back in the evening.

Then u are glued to that tv, mobile or the computer. Dont u ever think of spending time with ur wife?”

Now this “brahma astra“ is always followed by an argument, just for the heck of winning.

These questions have been answered very long back, but those answers were never accepted. In fact these questions were never meant to have answers. 

Going to work in the morning and coming back is not an option unless u are working in a night shift customer care company. And that’s what brings food to the table.  

After a day long work, don’t u deserve some entertainment?

“Spending time with wife” now some one please define that. Does that mean staring eye to eye for the rest of the evening?

Husband's are labelled 'Selfish' because they would like to spend some fun time with rest of the people in their life. 

Well if that's selfish what do you call a wife who cannot tolerate her husband going out of the house unless its for Earning for her shopping?

So going back to the 'situation' we have.. Sita is currently asking  Rama, the 73rd Question (which also has no logical answer) regarding why Rama cannot have his own moment or space and how demeaning that is to the WIFE.

While the questionnaire is happening Sita notices that ram is actually smiling looking at his phone. 

She quickly grabs the phone and realizes that its a forward joke from hanuman

" Once upon a time a man is meditating in the woods for ages,

Finally when god appears and asks what he wishes for.

The man wishes to become a bachelor again.

That's when god gets a missed call on his mobile..

God immediately picks up the phone holds on to his ear

and quickly returns to the skies without turning back.

Moral of the story is: So there's no help for the HUSBAND!"

Sita's eruption of anger is inexpressible.

"So this is what u guys do in the party's.. you insult women and have a laugh over it????

Am here screaming for the past 50minutes.. and you aren't even paying attention??"

Then sita gets a call on her mobile.. (Oh yes she is allowed to use her phone in-between arguments, u wanna differ with her?)

Its lakshmana's wife calling 

"Dear is your husband back home? because mine is still out there and not picking my calls,

Sita: Oh yes he is back, and you should actually put your foot down and.... blah blah blah..

and you know what happened today? blah blah blah blah...  blah blah blah blah... blah blah blah blah... "

and the phone call goes on... you know how cheap the call rates are these days.. 

and how long women actually speak on phones!

and so ram is actually rescued...... Today! 

He can slowly fall into sleep and call it a day.

He needs that much of rest,

because tomorrow is another day..  

with another dispute.. 

and an other doubt!

with another grief

in the happily married life!

....  never ending!

"He is able who thinks he is able." - Buddha

I always remember the worried face of my mom saying "oh no! How did this happen?" or "why weren't you careful" whenever I came home with an injured knee or a ruptured elbow. She would swiftly grab the first aid kit, clean my wound with dettol and apply some neomycin. She always taught me to be careful. In fact, isn't that something that we were taught by everyone around us when we were kids? To be careful about everything and everyone? Seldom are we taught, if not ever, to handle the after effects of an incident. Especially if the damage is catastrophic.

image source: http://www.disaboom.com/movies/crispin-hellion-glover-makes-film-depicting-man-with-cerebral-palsy

There was a moment when nobody was around to tell me that I was disabled. But yet, I knew it. I had a hunch. That abominable lull caused by an ominous situation... I just felt it. I always heard about people turning millionaires overnight, but, as fate had it, I turned out to be physically challenged in a day. The drunk guy who was involved in that "hit and run" incident walked away scot-free. Neither did i faint nor did i feel the pain, it all happened in a blink. I quickly picked my phone and dialed 108. The next thing I only remember was the quirky noise at the hospital. I slowly opened my eyes to realize few doctors standing by my side closely looking at me. "I do not think we have much of a choice" was all that I remember hearing as the anesthesia shots started kicking in.

Later when I opened my eyes, I saw mom, dad and sister standing next to the bed i was laid on. The room was silent, no one uttered a single word... I slowly started feeling an itching pain in my knee and tried to reach it with my hand. I noticed my mom's blank look... Like I said, that ominous feeling, I could sense something was wrong. It only took me a moment to understand that my right leg was amputated below the knee. My mom broke to tears much before I could digest this fact. I vividly remember everything. Friends and relatives started pouring in one by one, everyday. Never before did I realize that sympathy could be so painful. It was like rubbing salt on the injury. They made fake statements that everything's going to be okay. They knew they were lying. I knew they were lying. My head was spinning and slowly fear started creeping in with thoughts that were never ending. My job, my life, my career, my family... everything seemed to be reduced to a pile of rubble.

I was never trained to deal with such a helpless situation. Nobody had taught me to cajole my parents who broke down every time they saw me. Watching her cry made me feel sick of myself. I considered suicide to end this trauma once and for all. However, the other side of my mind kept raising alarms about the responsibilities that I am yet to fulfill. My family was already devastated about my leg, I was not sure if they will be able to handle themselves. The fact that I couldn't walk anymore, can’t ride my bike or even climb stairs was traumatic. I refused to meet anyone and stayed alone in my room for days together. All I would do is to stare at the fan and scream at walls all the time. Life is not easy when one has to replace his legs with a set of wheels. Same questions popped in my mind again and again. Every question seems to be leading to only one answer... one solution... I must stand on my feet again. Though it took me a while, I realized that me myself was the ultimate remediation to my current situation. I decided to regain control over my fate. I began hitting the internet and started researching about people who met with similar situations. I did come across lot of stories and blogs about people who were physically challenged and yet decided to get back to their normal lives using prosthetics. I interacted with few of them. They knew 'exactly' what I was going through. It didn't take much time for me to learn that humans are motivated only by self-interest. After getting adequate feedback from them and my doctors, I persuaded my parents to buy me a pair of clutches instead of a wheelchair. My parents at first resisted but eventually caved in as I refused to sit on that wheelchair again. And few months later, I finally got this prosthetic leg.

It took me a freak accident, one amputated leg, humungous pain, loads of courage and tolerance, months of time, tons of unwanted, redundant empathy and above all, true inspiration to learn to deal with my situation. It was a life-changing event which made me tougher than before. I have reinvented myself and am happy with whatever I have, be it muscle or metal. All I care about is what I was able to do. Which is, to stand on my own feet just like anyone.

image source: http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2010/10/the_xix_commonwealth_games.html

P.S: Before you begin thinking too much, this is the story of some random guy who lost his leg in an accident. Though I have read few articles and stories about Sudha Chandran, Anthony Clarke, Peter Anderson, Mac Gray and Nick Vujicic, this story was touching and most inspiring to me, maybe because i knew him and interacted with him personally. At times, random people walk into our lives and create an impact. They shed light on things that we always overlooked, give us a lesson or two about things that we always ignored or to motivate us about things that our parents have tried for years with little or no success. I think every single person who comes into our life has a purpose. Now my intention is not to prove or preach anything... but I have my own reasons to believe so. If you ever read my post "Inglourious Basterds" (click here to read) the incidents preceding the holi mishap have taught me few important things in life. It induced few values like responsibility, fear and most importantly, value of life. Actually it was Srinu who taught me these things at the cost of his own life. And like Srinu, this random guy also happens to be my friend.
And my dear friends, if you figure out this guy and realize who am talking about, please do not mention his name. True to the essence of this blog, he hates people sympathizing him and, more importantly, I personally want him to be anonymous.

" పోతామని తెలుసు "

పోతామని తెలుసు... పోతే యేడుస్తారని తెలుసు...
చావుంటుందని తెలుసు... ఏమి తీసుకుపోమని తెలుసు..
అయినా ఆశే చావదు మనిషికి... ఈ పరుగే ఆపడు మనిషి...
అయినా కళ్ళే తెరవడు మనిషి... ఈ ఇలలో మారడు మనిషి..
|| పోతామని||

నీవైనా నేనైనా చస్తే చేరేది కాటికే...
రాజైనా పెధైనా చివరికి మిగిలేది కాలే కర్రనే...
ఊపిరి పీలిస్తే జననం..ఊపిరి విడిస్తే మరణం...
ఆ రెంటి మధ్య యుద్ధం లో అవుతున్నమోయ్ దూరం...
||పోతామని||

కాలే కడుపును నింపేందుకు పిడికెడు అన్నం సరిపోదా...
వణికే కట్టెను ఆపేందుకు జానెడు గుడ్డే సరిపోదా...
భూమిలో కలిసే శరీరానికి ఆరడుగులే చాలు కదా...
బాధలో ఉన్న హృదయానికి చిటికెడు ప్రేమ స్వర్గం కాదా...
||పోతామని||

అబద్ధమాడి మోసం చేసి సంపాదించే లక్షలు కోట్లు...
తీసుకుపోవు పోతూ నీవు..చందనమైనా చివరికి బూడిదే...
పరుగుపందెంలో గెలిచిన నీవు జీవితంలో ఓడావని...
ప్రేమించే మనసే దూరం అయితే కాని తెలియదు నీకు...
||పోతామని||

A song written by one of my friend and follower on twitter...
Thanks Brahma for the Privilege :)

You can reach him @TheOnlyBrahma

Mortal Love - The Song

I was seeing waters all over the places
Closed my eyes, and realized them as my tears
These days am nothing, I really don't matter
This delay in reaction, I don't feel any closer

If my life was a movie
This part is really so bad
It's horrifying, a terrible story
Would just get a rating one out of five

I am the killer of my thoughts, it's a murder of my mind
With time i am changing, from something to nothing
If you could tell me, that i was someone, someone more special
I could have waited, for more than a second

But now

I hate myself for loving you
As i’ll love you till my end
I hate myself for loving you
I got choked when i saw it through

All these days

I just tried to fill an empty space
Death now is living life at a slow pace
I just wanna die

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Song by : Dhwani - Ethnic Vibrations
Vocalist : Vivek
Composition : George
Dhwani Team : George, Saurabh, Vivek, Pavan, Yaniv, Sumanth
Lyrics - Who else :)

Listen@SoundCloud

P.S. When i wrote "Where is the Smile" and "Burn me alive", Many thought i was going through a bad phase of life and wrote them out of depression/frustration, but it's not true :) All these songs am writing are not out of my experience, but just my expression of a specific emotion...
Enjoy the song and comment...
Right click here and "save link as" to Download the MP3.

100% Suthi

Ippativaraku naa sodhi kaburlu chadivaru...
Yeppudanna naa suthi gola vinnara ?

Suthi kottadanni sodhile ani kotti pareyakandi,
Suthi lo sruthi untundhi, Sruthi lo layaa untundhi,
Laya lo rhythm kuda untundhi,
Ee layabadhamaina rhythmic sruthi gala suthi... Oka goppa Suthi !
antey... 100% Suthi annamaata...

Manasuki, Mind ki anipinchindi filter cheyakunda,
Aapakunda anargalanga bayataki kakkatam oka kala.
Adhee mandu kottakunda mathu digakunda !!!
Cheppinde cheppi chaava kottatame… Nijamaina suthi kottatam !

Mandu kodithe thinnadi kakkutaaru,
Mathi dobbithe unnadi chebutaaru.
Ee ara nimisham meeru chadivina Sodhi,
Kindunna aaru nimushaala Suthi ki punaadhi :)

Inka aalasyam cheyakunda Aasvadinchandi,
Chusi vini, vethukkuntu vachchi nannu matram kottakandi!



Eee suthi vinataaniki samayanni ketayinchina Meeku,
Sound effects andinchina George ki,
Video tayaru chesina Kamal Krishna ki...
naa Kshamaapanalu !!!

Sadaa yedo golalo... Sodhigadu :)