" Where is the Smile "

When you do so much... but you get nothing
When you give so much... and you don’t earn a thing
When the sun shines bright... yet darkness follows you
And you love so much... but it all deserts you

Tears roll down like rain...
Drowning my heart in pain...

The only winning move... is not to play...
Let me quit, let me out... please don’t delay

Oh god stop this menace...
you better put a smile... back on my face

When you dream so much... but you can't wake up
When you aim so high... but you can't keep up
When you cry so much... nobody will care
And when you live so much... no ones aware

Tears roll down from eyes...
Soothing my soul from lies

The only winning move... is not to play...
Let me take, let me give... please don’t slay

Now god... don’t want this empty space...
You better put a smile... back on my face

When we plan so much... but nothing succeeds
When we earn so much... but it doesn’t meet the needs
When we give all the time... we never get back a second
And finally, when we are done... there's nothing left to bond

So let's start it again

As tears roll down like anything
And now I remember everything... every little thing...

The only winning move... is not to play...
Let me in, let me out, as I can't decide how much more I can flay

oh god stop laughing at me...
you better put a smile... back on my face

When you draw a line... you really want to cross it
But when you cross the line... you wanna regret it
When you want to come back... you lose the track
And when you are lost... Who’s gonna bring you back

Now tears roll down like flood
Trying to prove me... am weak

The only winning move... is not to play...
Let me cry, let me die, as I have no choice... to lie that am strong

oh god now stop staring at me...
you better let me cry, until my soul is totally dry…

Belated Love Letter

Bin tere bin... Is raat ki Subah nahi...
Bin tere bin... Kisi din ki Raat nahi...
Bin tere bin... Mere jeene ka Maksadh nahi...

So now saying this am really ready to go, ready to write my first ever love letter, but yes it got delayed... Should have written this Long back, but it's never too late.

___________________________________________________

I wonder if you were a gift from God... the sunshine from heaven sailing down to rescue me. I wake up to see you dancing down the aisle... hoping that you would stop and make me go. You are sometimes so hot to handle... but i love you more when you are hot my dear TEA. Being a Hyderabadi I am not really comfortable using this noun, I find it borrowed, for the rest of the letter I'll call you as CHAI... for Chai's sake !!!

Really can't recollect my first encounter with you, my divine drink... but does it really matter.
"Aishwarya se jaan pehchaan to hai, pehli mulaqaat se kya faraq padta hai"

At least in my adult memory I never stayed away from you for more than 8 hrs at a stretch ( that too could be when am sleeping )

My dearest Chai, I just realised, its hard to quantify my love and obsession for you... So writing this letter...

What to say... Firstly a big thanks to you for all those mornings, in fact every morning, for being the first thing to stimulate my brain as well as my bowel. You have been the catalyst for my gateway to freedom every morning.

Pyaari Chai... thanks for all those memories... thanks for giving us company in that shabby grand point cafe, while one of us Idiots waited at the street corner... just to get a glimpse of his dil ka tukdaa. Thanks for introducing us to those shabby cafes which are so part of our routine today. Thanks again a ton, for forgiving us, even though one of us idiots mercilessly humiliated you ritually by dipping those greasy samosas in you... Sorry goes for Samosas as well... even you never deserved to be treated that way. And a big sorry again Chai... as that Idiot often dipped his middle finger in you to grab those mashed samosas... I do regret, for those who were punished to watch this event and were forced to avoid you, or your dear friend samosa... Or in some cases both.

My lovely Chai... thanks for playing your part, in helping me gel with common India. If it wasn't for you, I would never have touched those Cups with creamy, sticky saliva...

I never could forget your friends too... I mean, fine biscuit, tie biscuit, chota samosa, osmania biscuit, chai biscuit... etc... I love them all. But darling nothing replaces you... A chumma for that :)

If you remember we folks used to wander in wee hours looking for you, and some times infact late after midnight as well. You were such a weakness and such a teaser :) and my love for you... screwed up our combined studies too.

Can you recollect those incidents where people used you as carrot on me, to get their things done.
My mom... so that I could wake up early and study.
My sister... when ever she needed lifts or pick ups or most of the time for gossips.
My wife... for what not !!!
My friends... Its better not talk about these idiots. Just recently, they got drunk on friendship day and I didn't join them, so they came home and i still didn't want to join them... but they baited me with you, and do you know what they did, they spit pan on my brand new white shirt. See what not I get to see... Only because of my love for you. But that's alright darling, i could fight this world for you.

Hope you are aware, at least from my memory you were around 75paise when we first met, then u went into rupees... it was pain... but still anything for you, that was alright. You were there for quite some time, but in recent years... whats wrong with you dear. why are you acting pricey, how come you became so unstable. I can't believe that i have to use notes instead of coins to pay for you these days. Maybe tomorrow I will have to spend in dollars or euros to possess you, and you will not be surprised to know that i am spending around Rs.2000/- on you every month. I know you are not to be blamed, it's these complex words like Inflation, Economy etc... which are trying to come between us.

But what ever may happen, my love for you will never be lost. We will be together for ever... ever and forever.

Guess if am going to die and someone asks me for my last wish, I would quickly ask for "ek kadakh chai ki pyaali" so much is my love for you :)

NOTE :- My brother GOLD FLAKE too tastes much better when he is in your company... A final chumma to both of you.

P.S: The one other than me in this picture is the idiot who mercilessly humiliated my dear lovely CHAI :(( and also the same idiot who made us wait at the cafes for having a glimpse of his dil ka tukdaa :))

చిట్టి ముత్యాలు

నిన్ను మొదట్లో కలిసినప్పుడే... నన్ను, నా కుటుంబాన్ని బంధించావ్
నాకో ఫ్యామిలి ఫోటో అందించావ్
అది చూసినప్పుడల్లా నువ్వే గుర్తోచ్చావ్...
అప్పుడు నువ్వు నాకు తెగ ముద్దొచ్చావ్
ఆపై చూసా నిన్ను దర్శకత్వ శాఖలో
మల్లి కనిపించావ్ నటశేఖరుని బాటలో
మా కృష్ణ , కృష్ణుడై పోయాడు
ఆ కృష్ణుడి పేరు వింటే గుర్తొస్తాయి లీలలు
మా కృష్ణుడి బొమ్మ పడితే వినిపిస్తాయి ఈలలు
(మాకు మాత్రమే తెలుసులే నీ లీలలు)
మా ఈ కృష్ణుడు... వినాయకుడై వెలిగాడు
ఐనా ఎందుకో మరి నాపై అలిగాడు
మనసులో ఏదీ దాచుకోడు
మాటలతో మన మనసుల్ని దోచేస్తాడు
పిట్ట కొంచెం కూత ఘనం అన్నట్టు...
నువ్వు తినేది కాసింత పెరిగింది మాత్రం అంతులేనంత
ఇంతకీ ఇది ప్రపంచంలోని ఎన్నో వింత ?
ఎంత లావుగా ఎదిగాడో... అంతగానే ఒదిగాడు
అందుకే వీడు మావాడు... మనసున్న మొనగాడు
పిల్లలకి నువ్వంటే క్రేజు
పాపలకి నువ్వంటే మోజు
ఏ రాజ్యమూ లేని రారాజు
మంచి మనసున్న మారాజు
సాయం చేస్తావు కొండంత
తిరిగి ఆశించవు గోరంత
నిన్ను చూసి మారాం మేమంతా
ఇవ్వాలనుకున్నాం నీకు కాసంత
ప్రేమ , ఆప్యాయత , అభిమానం...
అందుకోవయ్యా మా ముద్దుల కృష్ణయ్య...
రాజువయ్య... నువ్వు మహారాజువయ్య... మా రాజుగారివయ్య :)

భావం నాది , భాష కృష్ణచైతన్యది
సరదా నాది , సాహిత్యం మాత్రం వాడిది :)

Chitti Muthyaalu

Ninnu modatlo kalisinappude... Nannu, Naa kutumbanni bandhinchav
Naako Family Photo andhinchav
Adi chusinappudalla nuvve gurthochav...
Appudu nuvvu naaku tega muddochav
Aapai chusa ninnu darshakatva saakhalo
Malli kanipinchav natashekaruni baatalo
Maa Krishna, Krishnudu aipoyadu
Aa krishnudi peru vinte gurthosthayi Leelalu
Maa krishnudi bomma padithe vinipisthayi Eelalu
(Maaku matrame telusu le nee leelalu)
Maa ee Krishnudu... Vinayakudai veligaadu
Aina enduko naapai aligaadu
Manasulo yedi daachukodu
Maatalatho mana manasulni dochesthadu
pitta konchem kootha ghanam annattu...
Nuvvu tinedhi kaasintha perigindhi matram anthulenantha
Intaki idhi prapanchamloni enno vintha?
Entha laavuga yedigaado... Anthagaane odhigaadu
Anduke veedu maavaadu... Manasunna monagaadu
Pillalaki nuvvante crazu
Papalaki nuvvante mozu
Ye rajyamu leni raraju
Manchi manasunna maaraju
Saayam chesthavu kondantha
Tirigi aasinchavu gorantha
Ninnu chusi maaram memantha
ivaalanu kunnam neeku kaasintha
Prema, Aapyayatha, Abhimaanam...
Andukovayya maa muddhula krishnayya...
Rajuvayya... Nuvvu Maharaju vayya... Maa Raju garivayya :)

Bhaavam naadi, Basha Krishna Chaitanya di
Sarada naadi, Sahityam matram vaadidi :)

"losing all hope... is freedom"

Losing all hope was freedom (Just to avoid that extra load on Google from those overly curios geeks)... its a dialogue from the Movie Fight Club. I stumbled upon it few days back.

Well said Tyler Durden..."Losing all hope was Freedom".

"Losing all hope is FREEDOM" this metaphor or whatever... isn't it amazing...???
its got so many truths and facts which are so simple, yet so complicated. The more I think of it... more it makes me think...

Hope... can it be used synonymously with greed...??? may be not always, but sometimes we surely can, and Greed isn't it about achieving... which in-turn could be simplified as winning.

If i need to understand what loosing is, first i have to understand what Winning is !!!
What is Win ???
Are we bound by Win ???
Is it just that feeling at the end, which inspires a journey of action ???
Are we so slave to it ???
why should one win ???

I started to think along these lines... and questions stared pouring in.
Now what is losing ???
Why are we scared of losing ???
Does losing exist if there is no desire for win ???
If there is a desire to win... To win what ??? Why ???
Does Having no desire to win, constitute as having no desire for life ???
If winning and losing are something about Competitiveness, What is it ???
Why is it so Complicated ???
Why can't competitiveness be a weakness ???
Does competitiveness account sublimely for any one of the seven sins ???

I don't have answers for any of these questions... and am getting mad than ever with these questions !!!

But whenever I keep thinking about this phrase it seems to trigger different thoughts...

Hope... is likely originated from fear or anxiety of losing something. It has been a great positive word or feeling since its inception. But I guess it's Hope again which urges our inner being to struggle, though it is defined as the confidence about the future, or a successful outcome of something emotional.

What if I lose hope of quitting smokes...
that gives me the freedom from struggle.

What if I lose hope of getting a girl...
that gives me the freedom from pain.

What if I lose hope of earning...
that gives me the freedom from spending.

What if I lose hope of living...
that gives me the freedom to live.

What if I lose hope of winning...
that gives me the freedom from losing.

Some smart - sophisticated - philosophical - motivational speakers would say it's surrendering yourself and accepting defeat. But here... my friends... i am talking about world where there is no win nor defeat.

We come across quite a few dialogues, metaphors or phrases in every walk of our life, But only few and very few leave an impression... and take you deep down on a thoughtful journey.

I know, No saying or phrase could be applied or related to all the phenomenon or circumstances, but these particular words do trigger lot of emotional thoughts.

so what i have to say is, if there is no hope, there is no losing... all you have is freedom from that particular emotion :)))

"LOSING ALL HOPE...IS FREEDOM"
so now i stop hoping... and enjoy my freedom...
am i abundantly clear ???