"He is able who thinks he is able." - Buddha
I always remember the worried face of my mom saying "oh no! How did this happen?" or "why weren't you careful" whenever I came home with an injured knee or a ruptured elbow. She would swiftly grab the first aid kit, clean my wound with dettol and apply some neomycin. She always taught me to be careful. In fact, isn't that something that we were taught by everyone around us when we were kids? To be careful about everything and everyone? Seldom are we taught, if not ever, to handle the after effects of an incident. Especially if the damage is catastrophic.
I always remember the worried face of my mom saying "oh no! How did this happen?" or "why weren't you careful" whenever I came home with an injured knee or a ruptured elbow. She would swiftly grab the first aid kit, clean my wound with dettol and apply some neomycin. She always taught me to be careful. In fact, isn't that something that we were taught by everyone around us when we were kids? To be careful about everything and everyone? Seldom are we taught, if not ever, to handle the after effects of an incident. Especially if the damage is catastrophic.
 |
| image source: http://www.disaboom.com/movies/crispin-hellion-glover-makes-film-depicting-man-with-cerebral-palsy |
There was a moment when nobody was around to tell me that I was disabled. But yet, I knew it. I had a hunch. That abominable lull caused by an ominous situation... I just felt it. I always heard about people turning millionaires overnight, but, as fate had it, I turned out to be physically challenged in a day. The drunk guy who was involved in that "hit and run" incident walked away scot-free. Neither did i faint nor did i feel the pain, it all happened in a blink. I quickly picked my phone and dialed 108. The next thing I only remember was the quirky noise at the hospital. I slowly opened my eyes to realize few doctors standing by my side closely looking at me. "I do not think we have much of a choice" was all that I remember hearing as the anesthesia shots started kicking in.
Later when I opened my eyes, I saw mom, dad and sister standing next to the bed i was laid on. The room was silent, no one uttered a single word... I slowly started feeling an itching pain in my knee and tried to reach it with my hand. I noticed my mom's blank look... Like I said, that ominous feeling, I could sense something was wrong. It only took me a moment to understand that my right leg was amputated below the knee. My mom broke to tears much before I could digest this fact. I vividly remember everything. Friends and relatives started pouring in one by one, everyday. Never before did I realize that sympathy could be so painful. It was like rubbing salt on the injury. They made fake statements that everything's going to be okay. They knew they were lying. I knew they were lying. My head was spinning and slowly fear started creeping in with thoughts that were never ending. My job, my life, my career, my family... everything seemed to be reduced to a pile of rubble.
I was never trained to deal with such a helpless situation. Nobody had taught me to cajole my parents who broke down every time they saw me. Watching her cry made me feel sick of myself. I considered suicide to end this trauma once and for all. However, the other side of my mind kept raising alarms about the responsibilities that I am yet to fulfill. My family was already devastated about my leg, I was not sure if they will be able to handle themselves. The fact that I couldn't walk anymore, can’t ride my bike or even climb stairs was traumatic. I refused to meet anyone and stayed alone in my room for days together. All I would do is to stare at the fan and scream at walls all the time. Life is not easy when one has to replace his legs with a set of wheels. Same questions popped in my mind again and again. Every question seems to be leading to only one answer... one solution... I must stand on my feet again. Though it took me a while, I realized that me myself was the ultimate remediation to my current situation. I decided to regain control over my fate. I began hitting the internet and started researching about people who met with similar situations. I did come across lot of stories and blogs about people who were physically challenged and yet decided to get back to their normal lives using prosthetics. I interacted with few of them. They knew 'exactly' what I was going through. It didn't take much time for me to learn that humans are motivated only by self-interest. After getting adequate feedback from them and my doctors, I persuaded my parents to buy me a pair of clutches instead of a wheelchair. My parents at first resisted but eventually caved in as I refused to sit on that wheelchair again. And few months later, I finally got this prosthetic leg.
It took me a freak accident, one amputated leg, humungous pain, loads of courage and tolerance, months of time, tons of unwanted, redundant empathy and above all, true inspiration to learn to deal with my situation. It was a life-changing event which made me tougher than before. I have reinvented myself and am happy with whatever I have, be it muscle or metal. All I care about is what I was able to do. Which is, to stand on my own feet just like anyone.
Later when I opened my eyes, I saw mom, dad and sister standing next to the bed i was laid on. The room was silent, no one uttered a single word... I slowly started feeling an itching pain in my knee and tried to reach it with my hand. I noticed my mom's blank look... Like I said, that ominous feeling, I could sense something was wrong. It only took me a moment to understand that my right leg was amputated below the knee. My mom broke to tears much before I could digest this fact. I vividly remember everything. Friends and relatives started pouring in one by one, everyday. Never before did I realize that sympathy could be so painful. It was like rubbing salt on the injury. They made fake statements that everything's going to be okay. They knew they were lying. I knew they were lying. My head was spinning and slowly fear started creeping in with thoughts that were never ending. My job, my life, my career, my family... everything seemed to be reduced to a pile of rubble.
I was never trained to deal with such a helpless situation. Nobody had taught me to cajole my parents who broke down every time they saw me. Watching her cry made me feel sick of myself. I considered suicide to end this trauma once and for all. However, the other side of my mind kept raising alarms about the responsibilities that I am yet to fulfill. My family was already devastated about my leg, I was not sure if they will be able to handle themselves. The fact that I couldn't walk anymore, can’t ride my bike or even climb stairs was traumatic. I refused to meet anyone and stayed alone in my room for days together. All I would do is to stare at the fan and scream at walls all the time. Life is not easy when one has to replace his legs with a set of wheels. Same questions popped in my mind again and again. Every question seems to be leading to only one answer... one solution... I must stand on my feet again. Though it took me a while, I realized that me myself was the ultimate remediation to my current situation. I decided to regain control over my fate. I began hitting the internet and started researching about people who met with similar situations. I did come across lot of stories and blogs about people who were physically challenged and yet decided to get back to their normal lives using prosthetics. I interacted with few of them. They knew 'exactly' what I was going through. It didn't take much time for me to learn that humans are motivated only by self-interest. After getting adequate feedback from them and my doctors, I persuaded my parents to buy me a pair of clutches instead of a wheelchair. My parents at first resisted but eventually caved in as I refused to sit on that wheelchair again. And few months later, I finally got this prosthetic leg.
It took me a freak accident, one amputated leg, humungous pain, loads of courage and tolerance, months of time, tons of unwanted, redundant empathy and above all, true inspiration to learn to deal with my situation. It was a life-changing event which made me tougher than before. I have reinvented myself and am happy with whatever I have, be it muscle or metal. All I care about is what I was able to do. Which is, to stand on my own feet just like anyone.
 |
| image source: http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2010/10/the_xix_commonwealth_games.html |
P.S: Before you begin thinking too much, this is the story of some random guy who lost his leg in an accident. Though I have read few articles and stories about Sudha Chandran, Anthony Clarke, Peter Anderson, Mac Gray and Nick Vujicic, this story was touching and most inspiring to me, maybe because i knew him and interacted with him personally. At times, random people walk into our lives and create an impact. They shed light on things that we always overlooked, give us a lesson or two about things that we always ignored or to motivate us about things that our parents have tried for years with little or no success. I think every single person who comes into our life has a purpose. Now my intention is not to prove or preach anything... but I have my own reasons to believe so. If you ever read my post "Inglourious Basterds" (click here to read) the incidents preceding the holi mishap have taught me few important things in life. It induced few values like responsibility, fear and most importantly, value of life. Actually it was Srinu who taught me these things at the cost of his own life. And like Srinu, this random guy also happens to be my friend.
And my dear friends, if you figure out this guy and realize who am talking about, please do not mention his name. True to the essence of this blog, he hates people sympathizing him and, more importantly, I personally want him to be anonymous.
And my dear friends, if you figure out this guy and realize who am talking about, please do not mention his name. True to the essence of this blog, he hates people sympathizing him and, more importantly, I personally want him to be anonymous.
No comments:
Post a Comment